Wedding invitation etiquette: who invites whom, and when
Which family sends which card, how early to send invitations, how to address guest families, and whether a WhatsApp card is acceptable.
Updated
A Pakistani wedding is several functions hosted by two families, so the invitations need some planning. These are the customs most families follow — though every family has its own, and asking elders early saves awkward moments later.
Who sends which card
- Dholki and Mehndi: each family usually hosts and invites for its own. Joint mehndis are increasingly common — then one card from both families.
- Nikah: often hosted by the bride's family, sometimes combined with the barat or rukhsati.
- Barat: the groom's family invites guests to join the barat; the bride's family invites its own guests to receive it, usually worded around the rukhsati.
- Walima: hosted and sent by the groom's family.
When to send
- Guests in the same city: three to four weeks before.
- Guests travelling from another city: six to eight weeks.
- Overseas family: two to three months, and a save-the-date even earlier.
- A short WhatsApp reminder two or three days before each function — people juggle many weddings in the season.
Addressing guests
Cards are traditionally addressed to a family, not a person: 'Janab Tariq Mehmood & Family', or in Urdu 'محترم طارق محمود و اہلِ خانہ'. If you are inviting only the couple, address it to 'Mr. & Mrs.' instead — it quietly tells guests that children are not included, without having to say so.
ShaadiNama makes a separate, addressed card for every family on your list in one go — paste the names and download them all.
Is a WhatsApp card acceptable?
For most guests, yes — digital invitations are now normal, especially for the dholki and mehndi. For elders and close relatives, many families still deliver a printed card by hand, or visit with sweets, and follow it with the digital card for the details. A good rule: print for the people you would visit in person, and send digitally to everyone else.
What to put on the card — and what to leave off
- Always: names, function, day, date, time, venue with area, and a name and number for RSVP.
- Useful: 'Dinner will be served at 9 pm' or a map link in the message you send with the card.
- Leave off: gift lists and dress codes beyond a simple colour theme for the mehndi — mention those in conversation.